Life with Kermie: DARWIN

Life With Kermie

1 July

High In North Oz

Writing about trucks and trucking has brought me immense joy over the past 20 years. From knowing nothing of the industry, I’ve come to appreciate all you guys and gals do for the country, and hopefully impart some of my gained knowledge to the wider community.

These past two decades have taken me to truck shows far and wide, let me experience life behind the wheel, interview many characters and legends within the industry, test drive new product and go to places that my meagre pension would otherwise never allow. Even Germany a couple of years back.

I’ve had twelve flights so far this year – and this has been an extremely quiet one for test driving trucks. So I do feel blessed by the Pink Fairy.

But, I’ve never felt as blessed as when Hino send me an email, asking if I’d like to accompany them on a trip to wherever it may be, because no-one does it as well as Hino do.

You will have seen plenty of stories on my experience in the Hino product – most recently with their excellent 300 Series Hybrid (which you know won’t give you range anxiety). I’ve also played with their 500 and 700 Series over the years, with Hino chucking me the keys and saying, “Happy trails.”

There is no quid-pro-quo, in that they never intimate what I should write about their products just because they’ve shown me a good time. Rather, they let their product speak for itself. And that’s a good thing because should that be the case I simply wouldn’t do the story. (I hasten to add here that other truck OEM’s take the same attitude, unlike some stories I’ve heard about the car side of the industry).

Once a year for the past four years Hino have invited myself and some other trucking journos to a weekend of Supercar Racing. Apart from a business debrief on each occasion, the time has been spent enjoying their hospitality and of course a round of Supercars, with which Hino is heavily involved via sponsorship of Team 18, The Toyota Gazoo Racing Australia (TGRA) 86 Series, official sponsor of the Supercars Recovery Team and of course, The Hino Hub – an integral part of any Supercars event.

The first invite was to Townsville, followed by Adelaide, Bathurst last year and this year to Darwin. The only dumb thing Hino have ever asked me is if I’d like to tag along. Duh! So let me fill you jealous lot in on what a Hino Supercars weekend is like: when this pensioned-off pauper is treated like a prince.

Because I live up country and the flight is early-ish the next day, I’m put up at Tullamarine airport the night before, where I share a convivial dinner and drinks with another journo buddy.

At 9am we’re on board Qantas for the 41/2 flight to Darwin. On these longer flights I’m pleased to find that Qantas actually provide complimentary food and drink, unlike the other mob. Probably costs more to fly Qantas, but I’m not paying.

At Darwin there’s a guy waiting for us who leads us to our ride, a top of the range Hyundai Palisade. Middo goes shotgun while I recline in the middle row captain’s chair. Nice gear this. A short while later we’re dropped off at Mindil Beach Casino Resort and I’m shown to my room with its fully stocked bar. I’m upstairs, which means I only have a large balcony overlooking the 2 acre swimming pool, rather than downstairs where they have steps leading straight into the water. Is this a deal breaker? Nah, just means I’ll have to dive in.

**More of the pool. There’s a nice wet bar beyond the bridge.**

Drop the bag, don the Hino Supercars polo and cap and head down to the restaurant to join our hosts for a late lunch. And here’s where I didn’t stop eating for the next three and a half days. There’s a lot of Asian influence in Darwin so a Viet-style beef salad seemed in order, along with a beer or three.

**Crew on the New Endeavour doing it tougher than us.**

After a nanny nap we head out to the Port of Darwin for a dinner cruise. Oysters Natural (which a few didn’t like, so Shieldsy and I ate most of them), fresh prawns, cold meats, etc. And a beer or three followed by a wine or three.

The next morning it’s up early to get to the airport…for a helicopter pub crawl. As you do! A 25 minute flight to The Crab Claw Resort which is basically a pub. In a classic case of the sublime to the ridiculous, we land on the runway which is a fair hike from the pub, when around the corner comes an ancient Massey Ferguson tractor with a trailer attached. “G’day you lot,” yells our host. “Get in and hang on.”

**How to get to Crab Claw Resort - Part 1.**

**How to get to Crab Claw Resort – Part 2.**

**I read the sign and decided to drink beer.**

**Yep, could spend a week at Crab Claw doing this.**

A beer or two and back for the second leg of our flight during which we’re taken over gorges, waterfalls and other scenic highlights until we land some 45 minutes later at our second destination for lunch and more beers. Having enjoyed the Viet Beef the day before I went for that again, only to jealously admire Shieldsy’s Salt & Pepper Squid.

Some folks do five pubs on their trips but we had to get out to the race track, so it was back to the airport and on to Hidden Valley where we ate more prawns, oysters, pies, sausage rolls and lots of other good stuff, washed down – in my case – with alcoholic ginger beer.

It was here that I was regretting not packing any shorts. 31º and, to this Victorian, humid as. I was glad to get back to my room for (another) shower before dinner. That dinner was at The Oyster Bar in downtown Darwin where we were joined by Team 18 owner, Charlie Schwerkolt and Hino Hub’s Neil Crompton, who are both delightful company.

Oysters done three ways as an appetiser (I ate heaps), followed by, in my case by an entrée of Salt & Pepper Squid that I’d missed out on at lunch. I say entrée, but it was in fact a dinner plate overflowing with the stuff! My main was fish and of course it had to be Barramundi – big, beautiful and succulent!

I politely declined a nightcap back at the Casino, opting for an early night until I was joined by my ‘neighbour’, Koby, whereupon we shot the breeze until late.

Sunday was a 6am rise to get out to the track for a quick lap. Last year at Bathurst I got a Toyota GR Yaris which I thought would be a real disappointment until I jumped in. That was an absolute hoot – the owner telling me that it owed him over $90K. I swear the turbo on that thing was bigger than the whole motor. This time around I went electric in the form of a Porsche Taycan. Holy Hell! This thing is quicker than a Super car down the straight. Dan, my driver says that it doesn’t go around corners as well, due to its weight of 3.1 tons. That said, we do the first corner at 110+. “The Supercars only do this at 135,” says Dan. He then tries to scare me with talk of how quickly it can break away and how much he hates the next couple of curves.

“I’m a fatalist,” says me. “Do your worst!” A LOT of fun!

There followed a day of racing of course, and also of course, a lot more food and drink. After sweating to death the day before, I’d taken to my brand new jeans with a pair a scissors and turned them into shorts. Ignoring the ‘Gilligan’ jibes of my compatriots, I was much more comfortable.

**Of course I obliged Anton Pasquale with a happy snap.**

Dinner that evening was just a short walk to the Mindil Beach Sunset Market where Hino provided us all with a wad of ‘Mindil Dollars’ to buy whatever food we fancied – Beef and Chicken Gado Gado for me. If you get to Darwin this is a must. There are dozens and dozens of food stalls of every description. We meet at the VIP area at the end to drink…more beer.

**Hino’s Richard Emery and Dan Petrovski with the world’s best organiser, Clare Arthurs. (Sheildsy and Middo in the background)**

Monday morning we have a debrief from Hino’s Richard Emery and then head to the airport to wait in the Qantas lounge for our flights home.

Half an hour out from home on the south side of Shepparton, I was hit with a wind gust that I swear threw the car from one lane to the next; this followed by driving horizontal rain. Branches are getting torn from trees and hurled across the road by the wind. All I could think of was how many accidents occur near home. Luckily I arrived safely (at 11pm) but was shaken enough to have a couple of calming Scotches.

I’m not going to tell you how much I put on over those few days, but it was more than 3 kilos and less than 5. All I can say is that if I have to go away somewhere and die of fatness, then I could think of no better way to do it than at the invitation of Hino. Thanks guys.

PS: I’ll get to play with more Hino product later in the year and I shall tell you what it’s like without fear or favour. After all, look what Hino’s done to my figure!