"What the bloody hell is this crap!" I beefed, as the girl returned to the counter. "Do they think that just because you're 60 you've got one foot in the grave. Let me tell you, I just turned 60 and guess what – I can still drive safely.

They disregard speed limits. They are particularly adept at tail-gating. They can drive with the mobile phone in one hand and often a ciggie in the other. If you let them in they never wave a thankyou - and we all know even pigs grunt!